Yesterday I cried, suddenly, with out warning. Those of you who know me know this already, but for those of you who don't, I'm normally an emotional person. But bursting into tears for no reason at all is not normal, even for me. What the heck!!! I think it was just baby blues... really nature!, do I need any more on my plate.
Earl (the hubby) was present in the room. I was reading Evan the little engine that could. The TV had just screwed up (again) Evan wanted my attention, it was 6pm, 1 hour to bed time. Had I had enough? I know to ask for help blah, blah, blah. Earl has been really helpful, to a point. I've been asking him to clean the fish tanks for a month. Why can't he just do it!!!! It bugs me. I think we're going to get rid of one. Anyone want a 33 Gal fish tank with stand? I know it seems small but it's one less thing to clean, to feed, to care for. I'll get a plant for that corner, which means I get to shop for one, yah that sounds fun. Shopping for something for me! This doesn't happen, not for items that I don't "need" or even sometimes for things I need. Eventually I put my foot down, and say " NO I need more then one pair of pants!" Yup now I'm just blabbing, sorry. Where was I...oh the tears, the blues. Normal for a new mom, yup I know. But how does one explain to others the need to just get it out. Earl looked at me with worry in his eyes, I couldn't explain it to myself, let alone him. The trigger was the TV, I know it was, just one more thing to worry about, to handle, to fix when I don't know how. There have been other triggers since I came home, the frozen flowers was the last one. My sis in Ohio sent me flowers, they where frozen, in them where Iris's (not only my fav flower, but my past mom's name) it was so sad, the symbolism of it all! The only thing I'd gotten just for me! My fav thing, frozen, dead! It still makes me sad, even with the beautiful replacement.
Earl (the hubby) was present in the room. I was reading Evan the little engine that could. The TV had just screwed up (again) Evan wanted my attention, it was 6pm, 1 hour to bed time. Had I had enough? I know to ask for help blah, blah, blah. Earl has been really helpful, to a point. I've been asking him to clean the fish tanks for a month. Why can't he just do it!!!! It bugs me. I think we're going to get rid of one. Anyone want a 33 Gal fish tank with stand? I know it seems small but it's one less thing to clean, to feed, to care for. I'll get a plant for that corner, which means I get to shop for one, yah that sounds fun. Shopping for something for me! This doesn't happen, not for items that I don't "need" or even sometimes for things I need. Eventually I put my foot down, and say " NO I need more then one pair of pants!" Yup now I'm just blabbing, sorry. Where was I...oh the tears, the blues. Normal for a new mom, yup I know. But how does one explain to others the need to just get it out. Earl looked at me with worry in his eyes, I couldn't explain it to myself, let alone him. The trigger was the TV, I know it was, just one more thing to worry about, to handle, to fix when I don't know how. There have been other triggers since I came home, the frozen flowers was the last one. My sis in Ohio sent me flowers, they where frozen, in them where Iris's (not only my fav flower, but my past mom's name) it was so sad, the symbolism of it all! The only thing I'd gotten just for me! My fav thing, frozen, dead! It still makes me sad, even with the beautiful replacement.
Once again something more to deal with the hormones I mean, maybe a snooze on the couch will help, maybe I'm tired? Hungry? Maybe I need a hot shower? All of these things? I'll give it a try. But there is one thing I do know, that fish tank has got to go!
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